It’s almost like most parents out there relentlessly tiptoe around their little ticking time bombs to avoid any feeling other than happiness.
Hey, I am not saying go out your way to make an unhappy child.
But I am seeing more and more parents completely avoid discipline because they know their children will react once been told no.
They will do anything and everything to keep their child cool, even after the child has done wrong.
Children are the ones in control.
Once I meet a family, I know instantly what children have known discipline and what children have the reins.
Little ones who have the reins are wild little ones. And not in a good way. They have the final say in everything and adults are more than happy to be told what to do. They grow up having zero respect for their parents.
Children who have been exposed to proper discipline are still happy. They aren’t any less happy because they have been told no. They perform well in school and they have been given the tools to respect their family and society around them.
Why my children won’t like me sometimes
When I see a behaviour in my child which is naughty, I will nip this in the bud right away.
I will never stop cuddling my children and loving them with all my heart. They will know they are loved around the moon!
But, to help my children become well-rounded adults, they will need to know if they cross the line, this is not acceptable!
When I say no, they aren’t going to like me in the moment. And this is okay, they will respect me for this years down the line.
If I said yes all the time, or I let my child get away with murder, they will probably think I am the most relaxed and fun friend ever. Sure, we would have a great time and they would live off being boss.
But would they respect me?
Would I actually produce a child I could give freedom too without risk?
I want to trust my children when I give them freedom
School, friendships, clubs, adulthood you name it. When I am not around my children I want to have absolute trust in them.
I will shape them into bright, honest and loving humans who know how important it is to behave appropriately when given freedom. A child that ignores this rule doesn’t have freedom!
If I do not correct behaviour, I would probably have to follow my children around like a little puppy.
I will teach my children what no actually means so they do not dominate every decision or event.
Truly, it would be so easy to let behaviour slip away unnoted. And it would be much easier in the time being. In that second my child would probably like me more.
You are not punishing, you are teaching
Children need to know that if they cross the line, something will happen that they don’t like.
Now I am not suggesting anything like spanking. I know many families still use this method but personally, I wouldn’t dream of hitting a child. It’s just unnecessary.
I remember someone once asked me, so what if you found a Nanny family who said: “Hey, we will pay you 1 million if you spank our child”. “Would you work for them”?
Hell no! Is what I said.
Discipline is healthy. It is all part of teaching and shaping children into decent humans. It does not need to cause your child physical harm.
Children have the right to be given the best start in life possible.
If you bought a Dog, it’s only common sense that it would need training. If they are not trained, you’d think how are they going to become a solid member of the pack and they’d probably go astray.
And this is just the same for children. Of course, children are a thousand times more complex than dogs. Little kiddos cannot be left to their own devices in an unfamiliar world they are still working out and somehow bloom into perfection.
By showing them the way, constructing appropriate rules and showering them with love you really can’t go wrong.
“I can do anything I want”.
Children are similar to blind people searching for a strong wall. They will reach for it and test it to see how far away the wall is until they reach the wall and be taught where the actual boundaries are.
Oh boy, how they will test.
When you stand your ground just like a wall would children will fight back. Especially the first times you begin discipline. Your child will show emotions such as frustration which will NOT last forever.
They will be annoyed thing’s didn’t get to go exactly their way but please trust me that if you don’t stand your ground, you’ll end up with a terror much smaller than you but someone who has all the control in the world. And then, say goodbye to YOUR freedom.
Dinner parties, trips, events or even simple stay at home days would become impossible. Your children would dominate the scene and you’d never get to do thing’s your way because it’ll be theirs.
Parent or friend?
I see parents in our society who are scared stiff that they will no longer be liked or loved by their children.
Parents want their children’s friendship and are more than willing to sacrifice respect to get it.
Proper discipline does require effort and I’m giving you all a virtual high five as we speak!
Discipline is also a responsibility. It is not an act of anger or resentment or revenge. It is a strategy which teaches your child how to behave so that they can interact with the world productively.
Many of you believe children will naturally make good choices when to sleep, eat, learn, you name it. But then this opens up a world without limits where they’d most likely devour doughnuts, go to bed at crazy O clock and probably would want to swap learning for lots of T.V time.
Setting out limits will cause temporary disappointment or frustration.
And this is when you are a parent.
You are providing security and love and this lasts forever.
A massive thank you to all who read this post and please do let me know your thoughts in the comments! Until I realise part 2 I wish you all a very lovely day!
Nanny M x