Everything I post about does not come from a place of shame. I love parents and I love doing everything I can to support them.
But I see what’s happening to children in society and in all honesty, I am not a fan!
I’m sure you’ve met the typical Helicopter parent at least once.
For those of you who don’t know what a Helicopter parent is quiet yet, it’s definition is a parent who is a little too overprotective on their child.
Imagine a great big helicopter whizzing above you at all times, watching your every move.
This kind of protection leads to children becoming soft adults and unprepared for the world when it shows it’s negative side.
So what is a Lawnmower parent?
Oho, there’s a new kid in town!
Lawnmower parents are creating entitled children rather than children who are thick-skinned and prepared for life’s challenges.
It comes from a good place, I really know it does.
Growing up is never easy. I bet you can think of something you went through as a child that you’d never want your little one to experience.
We so so often let our own fears invade us and we become committed to wrapping our children in a world where the will never know negativity.
Lawnmower parents snip and mow ALL obstacles out of their child’s way so they don’t need to go through any kind of upset whatsoever.
Even if you don’t have children, you’ll be able to sympathise with this. No parent wants to see their child struggle in any way.
We are all doing our best to raise good people
I thought I would point out that I am not here to point the finger at you and tell you that you are doing the wrong thing.
Everything we do for children comes from a place of love!
My job is to observe children and help you produce the best possible people you can and not to judge your role as a parent.
So, if my words do offend you, believe me, that’s not my intention!
We all have our own parenting styles and I am not trying to tell you there is one right way.
My aim is to share with you what I know so that our society is producing the happiest and strongest children possible.
Children who become bratty and whiny are most often the ones who get everything they want as soon as they want it.
Lawnmower parents give their children everything immediately without a moments pause. This is often to navigate away from whines and grumpy faces!
Perhaps these parents came from a poor background and they want to give their child everything they didn’t have.
Again it comes from a place of monumental love.
But the thing is, children don’t know how to wait.
Everything in society is so instant.
Just like my words right now. Short. Sweet. Easy to take in.
Everything is at the touch of a button. Internet, food, smartphones you name it!
There is such a negative impact on children having their needs met instantly.
Feeling bored? Here’s a game on my smartphone.
Pizza for dinner? Let’s order to our door.
You want a toy? Scream and you’ll get it.
Children cannot have everything their way.
They become entitled adults who don’t know how to work for their goals.
A few ideas you can try to improve delay gratification skills
- Whether it’s your phone/ cake/ internet have your child wait before getting.
As a Nanny, I am constantly aware of this.
Have your child see something for a while before they get it. Especially the first time you try this, your child won’t be running and skipping with joy around the house but it is just tough love.
Nothing in adult life comes in the blink of an eye so why would you tell your child that it does?
- You do not need to instantly put an end to sulkiness
Children need to be taught how to deal with all emotions, good and bad. Yes, there are certain times children really do just a cuddle, and I am more than happy to snuggle! You’ll know the difference though. Genuine stroppy sulky behaviours are not on and should not be rewarded with positivity.
This is not cruel. Life is not all mushy 100% of the time. Personally, when the time comes, I would much rather my own children to experience all emotions good and bad in the comfort of our own home and learn how to regulate them in a safe place. Rather than un-necessarily shielding them from bad emotions.
This does not mean that we must go out of our way to make our children sad. You know there will be times when you don’t have their favourite snack in or times they cannot play on your phone. This, of course, cause upset yet teaches your child that being grumpy doesn’t get them what they want.
- Make treat time in the distance
I used to Nanny for a family where we’d do Friday treats after school, depending on good behaviour. Once they B to know I wasn’t soft, they didn’t bother asking for the sweet stuff right there and then because they knew it was out of the question.
Treats are treats! Children are so often told that if they stop screaming in the shop they’ll get some candy. So to avoid half an hour of embarrassment for the parent now the kid gets hushed for the time being.
My question is, what do you think is gonna happen next time at the shop? And the next?
If a Mama birdie is trying to teach her little one how to fly, she is prepared that her chick may fall ( e.g will not do it perfectly). And this is okay because it makes her little one stronger and wiser. Each time she tries to fly she’ll know better the next time.
Mama bird is born knowing that her chick needs to be prepared for adult life when she is a full grown bird. She knows she will not be around forever and her chick does need the practice and independence in order to fly.
She does all she can to help, lots of birdie cuddles and snuggles and of course strong boundaries.
Yet if she was a lawnmower parent, she would hold her chick’s wings and flap them for her. She’d tell everyone “Look, my baby is flying”!
Little chick would have no knowledge of how to fly, but wouldn’t think twice about it because her mama told her that she’s mastered this skill.
When Mama takes over so much, her chick will learn so little because she was never expected to do anything independently.
How to increase your child’s independence
With the best of intentions, we are actually making our children appear much weaker in the workplace. This can be anything from School life, college even through to adult job life.
Childhood is meant to prepare the way into adulthood and to be taught basic life skills. It does not last forever!
There are so many thing’s that are done for children that leave them helpless as adults! Here are a few ideas to help your child become more independent.
- Learn how to make a meal
- Make a doctors appointment
- Doing school projects entirely by themselves
- Have them talk to teachers about issues
- They get themselves ready for the day
- Don’t rescue! Have your child learn to perfect skills over time.
- Teach them how to build a chair
- Time to make breakfast by themselves
- Anything new they want they could either do chores or get a part-time job.
- Teach them responsibility. It’s their job to look after their things!
Just before I leave you, I’ve shared some lovely parenting tips!
- You are doing a wonderful job!
- It’s okay not to be perfect- Release that inner critic!
- Always give you lots of love and self-care
- Never stop cuddling your little ones
- You are enough
- Do less, well.
- Allow your children to fail and grow
- Don’t bribe
- Talk at your child’s level
As always lovely parents, I do hope you enjoyed my post! Please pop a comment and like below if you did!
In the meantime, check out a few more of my posts!