Its Tuesday afternoon, let’s say 2:30pm. You have one little kiddo clung to your leg and another in your arms perhaps shoving a finger up your nose. You didn’t eat lunch since both children have been pinning you down with a nipple each what seems like since they were born. Both putting up a fight to be carried and since that juicy 5am start this morning, you are absolutely exhausted!
In this scenario and many others, it’s understandable why so many parents and caretakers put themselves last. Gosh, when you have special little lives that you created, nothing ever compares to the love you have for them! Many families I know are incredible, superheroes if you ask me.
We all have our days, God knows I have mine! However, do you feel like some days nothing is going the way you’d hoped? Perhaps you feel like your failing? Maybe you feel everyone has it together but you?
If not, that is so amazing!
If your answer was yes, I’m here to tell you everything your feeling is okay! You are certainly not failing and no one (even me) does this job perfectly!
So, when have you, thought about you? -The plan of action!
Let’s fit small steps, easy to bring into your time and schedule into your life and trust me, even a tiny bit of “me time “can do the world of good!
1- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Many families I have worked with are ashamed to admit to me that they can’t do it all by themselves. They want their children and the world to see they are expert level jugglers, even if they drop the ball a few times. My goodness! Asking for help is probably one of the best things you could do for your children and you! It means our children still receive quality care and we allow ourselves to provide this without burning out! If you don’t take this little leap of faith, that is when we begin to feel like the roof is collapsing in on us. We start to feel like the job we are doing isn’t good enough because children really are a 24-hour job. In most cases, there is someone out there to reach too. If you need that support perhaps from someone out with your circle or professionals to speak too, I will leave a few numbers of amazing support groups at the end!
2- A cup of tea
Whether it is making yourself a tea, reading a book, getting some fresh air, Taking a breather as much and as often as you can is vital. I know (as lovely as it would be) taking spa breaks and vacations aren’t always the most affordable and applicable activities for my families. However, anything you can do for a mental and physical break is an incredible step towards a healthier parent life! Often the bond between child and parent is stronger when the parent has regular breaks! Parents who don’t take this time often report feelings of depletion. This often ends in the parent feeling like the bond is not as special as it used to be and its really just a downward spiral from there! Now, let’s get the kettle on!
3- Treat you as you would a friend
If you had a friend in the same situation I’m sure the natural response is to tell the friend everything is okay and it is okay to take breaks. I have experienced many cases where parents are incredibly tough on themselves! While being burnt out they tend to put themselves down for everything. However, an amazing step in self-care is teaching you to be kind to you.
4- One size fits all
As a childcare educator, I know how untrue this is! There is no one parenting style, one method you should be teaching, one diet your children should be having, whatever it may be, don’t listen to this nonsense! It’s true people like myself have studied for years and know the theory behind the fact. However its impossible to expect one lovely shoe to fit all feet- and this is even more applicable to how you parent! You are doing amazing, and whether you do things exactly like others or you do something completely different is totally awesome. There is no reason to worry about small things! There is enough to worry about in today’s society without worrying about how you do things. Like I say to my clients, as long as you and baby are safe, happy and healthy the rest is trivial.
5- Mental break
What can you do to let your mind switch off for a bit?
Try this solo or even if your little one is old enough try it together! Mediation has an incredible way of rebalancing, calming and relaxing our busy minds to somewhere else.
If you can find some time and energy working out is a lovely way of all-around benefits! Perhaps you could swim, try yoga, set a walk up with a friend, hike, small workout in the house, stretching. Whatever it may be, let it be you and for you!
As my Mother used to say, “It takes 43 muscles to frown and 10 to smile”! Fun is so important in life! Setting up time with friends if you can watching a funny movie, being silly, play a practical joke on your partner (this tends to be my go-to) Fill your life with as much fun as it can take!
Support group numbers
- PSG supporting parents- 07908101767. http://www.psg.org.uk/
- Autism family support 0290401729 . http://www.autismni.org/family-support-2.html#
- 0808 800 2222 https://www.familylives.org.uk/
Thank you for reading and as always pop me a comment below or feel free to email me with any questions!
is vital for survival!