Do you ever feel a little lost or helpless when it comes to disciplining your children?
Whether you are just starting to discipline your kiddos or planning to, there is no time like the present! Let me assure you, you will always be able to turn back time and it is never too late to start!
When I first began childcare all those years back, I was pretty soft! It took a good while to kick myself up the back for the good of the children I was caring for!
Disciplining can come with many worries for parents. I am doing it right? Will it work? Am I being too harsh with my children?
The little secret is, that behind closed doors, none of us are getting it perfect, not even me!
Nevertheless, have no fear! I have some truly wonderful tips and tricks which I know work because I see positive improvements in children each and every day! If you follow my guide below, there is no dought you will raise very happy peanuts who will actively present amazing behaviour!
Why we must use discipline!
Discipline is so often underlooked in families, yet it is the key to raising children! Without it, there is no boundaries and quite often a child who has zero respect and no memory of right and wrong!
A lack of reasonable punishments, tells children THEY are the boss and not the other way around. This will in time make your life and their’s much harder than it needs to be. Simple daily tasks will become a massive power struggle.
Children will always test the boundaries and see just how far they can get! It is our job to actually tell children why certain behaviour is unacceptable and why.
Let’s shape children into the best person they can be!
Keeping calm and avoid aggressive behaviour
Many of you will remember in the olden days, whenever children acted up, SLAP! Sadly to this day this still goes on. The problem with this is that once you hit, what is that teaching your child to do? Children will always copy the behaviour of their elders and this is so often forgotten.
If you want your child to behave well, you must look at yourself first. You cannot change a child without changing you. We cannot expect children to keep out of mischief if we are not stepping up!
To the best of your ability, keeping calm is key. Your child will push your buttons like crazy and if you feel yourself getting worked up, remove yourself for the situation, and do whatever it takes to float back down again. Remember how much children copy. You hit? They hit. You shout? They shout.
Always remember that you are the one in control.
Guilty! I’d be lying if I said to you that I am have not been guilty of this at some stage. It seems like such a quick and easy fix at the time, especially after a long day!
The proof is in the pudding!
Many techniques and punishments require more of your time at the moment, but in time will take up less in the end. If you say your gonna do something, do it! If your kiddo has physically seen you stick to your guts, they will know you will the next time and the next.
Many parents try techniques and wonder why they don’t work, they do! Consistency is key! Follow through with everything and don’t expect immediate results. Everything you are doing with your child is for their future.
Children will follow the rules 100% if there are consequences.
Now we have all that gibber jabber out the way it’s time for the juicy stuff, woho!
It is no secret that children LOVE fun! Creating a punishment in an area without toys and anything physically rewarding sends a message to the child that this is an area they don’t want to be in often.
For children aged 2-5, have a naughty step or if you do not have steps use rugs/mats/ literally anything a bit boring to sit on!
For older children, use a naughty room as children of this age are a little more emotionally mature and need extra space during this time to cool down.
1- Give a warning when unwanted behaviour is presented and explain if this happens again they will be going to the naughty step.
2- If presented again, take the child to the naughty step and come down to their level. Explain why they have been taken to the naughty area and say how long they will be there for. Make sure the time is the same age as the child.
3- If they ever get up go and take them back and do this as many times as you have to. Remember that extra time put in now will save your future!
4- Once the time is up, come down to the child level again and explain why they were put in the naughty corner and now they need to apologise for this behaviour.
5- If they do not apologise or do it in an insincere way, leave them again and repeat!
The whole point of this exercise is teaching the child that each and every time they misbehave, there will be consequences and not ones they will look forward to! Like all rules, it takes a while to kick in, so please stick with it and you will see amazing results.
Using a rule religiously, children will get the point and know when they are naughty nothing good is on the horizon.
Giving a choice
This little trick saved me lots of wasted time and I am so glad to know it!
Whether getting dressed, picking food, you name it, children can be a little fussy!
Many children enjoy feeling independent. Often taking all options and fun out of things results in tears!
Say you are helping your little one get dressed in the morning. Instead of saying, “Right, put your top on now”, try, “Do you want to put your top on first or your trousers”? This gives children the choice, but still, you are the boss!
Try this handy dancy technique with pretty much everything and you can let me know below how much easier life has become!
Let’s face it, I am yet to meet a child that doesn’t love winning or racing.
By simply putting a timer on during a task not only makes it fun but it gets it done! Adding lots of excited laughing and laughter flips boring daily tasks onto something fun!
Don’t use this technique during homework or anything similar as children need to do this in their own time. But toothbrushing, getting dressed, daily chores- get that timer on!
If children don’t get attention from positive behaviour, they will surely get it from negative!
You can purchase rewards charts like this one for a couple of quid and have an easier parent life!
Using a reward chart works so well as there are a great focus and attention on good behaviour and teaches children that with positive behaviour comes great rewards!
Write down the chores or behaviour that you want to see and tell your child that they can get a small treat at the end of the week if all the tasks are compleated.
This truly does work for lots of children is a great trick to teach the difference between right and wrong!
When out and about, children will want to be wild and free! Although, as adults, we are much more aware of the dangers out there than children. It’s very important wherever your children are, that they are giving freedom yet know there are consequences if they go too far or do not listen to the boss!
1- Explain to your child how far they can go and if they do not listen to you they will have to come back and hold onto your bag or pram.
2- As soon as they do not listen and go further than allowed, bring your child back to you and they now must hold onto the pram. If they do not hold on then a star or similar consequence will be taken from their chart.
3- Have your child hold on for roughly 10 mins and then calmly explain they can now walk ahead, but if they go too far again and do not listen to you, they will be brought back to the pram.
4- Repeat this as many times as It needs to be and your child will get the message!
The point in this technique is teaching your child that they can have freedom, but without listening to you, this freedom will be taken from them. Again with good behaviour comes rewards!
Have you ever spend hours putting your children to bed? Well, that is about to change!
Make sure that your child has a wind-down time before bed such as a bath and a story.
Having an active time during the day will make your child sleep at night. Many children spend their days bored inside watching tv a lot of the day and then parents wonder why they come alive at night! Being involved in sports, games and educational activities all ensure their little brains and bodies will be ready to recharge at night time.
It is also vital that your child’s naps are not too close to bedtime or they will not sleep and run about like little wild ones! For children aged 2-4 make sure the last nap of the day was at least 4 hours past before bedtime.
Getting your little one to sleep in their own bed
This is not as scary as you might think it is! With good perseverance, this trick really works!
For children aged 1-2
At this age children depend on being close and feeling secure with their environments. It is important to have knowledge that a parent is close by so very often being totally alone doesn’t work.
Steps ( Ages 1-2)
1- Lay your child down and tell them goodnight it’s bedtime
2- Sit on the floor beside your children crib/bed and saying nothing. Your presence here will be really comforting.
3- Stick with it! I guarantee your child will cry but under no circumstances do you pick your child up! This will get your back to square 1!
4- Your child will eventually tire out and sleep!
5- Each night sit closer and closer to the door and you will eventually no longer need to be there.
Steps (Ages 3 plus)
1- After your winddown time, tell your child it’s bedtime now and place them on their bed. Make sure there are no toys or bright lights anywhere near the child as this is a stimulant.
2-Leave your child and if they come back out the room (which they probably will) say nothing and pop them back into bed.
3- Each time your child comes out, put them back to bed. The first time you do this it could go on for a very long time but each time will get less and less!
4- Remember to always say nothing as engaging your child in conversation will again stimulate them and they will know if they come out of the room you will talk.
5- Repeat this each night religiously and it will work!
This little tip is vital for an easier future. Many people try it and give in too quick, or don’t stick with the same routine each night. It teaches your children that it is bedtime and each time they want to come out, you’ll be putting them back. Each night gets easier trust me!
During young ages children can be really attached to toys. Toys are a luxury and children who misbehave should not have the reward of playing with them!
Any acting up and you can take a few away. Each time a good behaviour is presented, they can get one back and so on.
This teaches children to appreciate things they have and they will learn you mean business!
To have nice things, positive behaviour must be shown!
I am so sure you guys will see wonderful results from all of my tips and tricks and I highly encourage you to let me know below!
Nanny M x