Children are incredibly lucky in today’s society. The amount of love and support that is there ever more than before for them has increased dramatically. However, with all this extra love, they are still not given the correct tools in early life to then be able to live the best version of themselves!
According to a recent study, children’s emotional and social functioning is shockingly spiralling downwards. They are going to school emotionally unavailable to learn. What’s more, the diagnosis of learning disabilities has taken a sharp increase, especially in the last 10 years.
I can tell you that as an experienced childcare provider, this all starts with the brain. We can literally pop children into any situation on earth and use that environment which they grow up in to mould the type of person they will become. The way we teach our children to think, act and approach both positive and negative experiences ultimately defines how they will react and deal with life and all its happenings!
I am observing more and more children who are becoming bored, impatient and entitled! Where are we going wrong?
Increasing the wait time between wanting, and getting
I am a huge believer in this technique. Children in today’s society are unfortunately growing up with a massive lack in the tools needed to deal with stress. This is due to our children receiving rewards and anything positive right when they want it and whenever they need it. Often we love our children so damn much we say thing’s like “Oh I want to give them everything I didn’t have” or just simply our love is so overwhelming we shower them with everything we think they deserve.
As beautiful as this is, giving children whatever they want right away teaches them this is how life will treat them and you are sadly un preparing your kiddo for life itself. By teaching them to wait gives your child an incredible tool to become malleable and will begin to avoid the tantrums and shouting in shopping malls when they cannot get something!
Nothing comes for free
I am a massive believer in this! Society is now so sensitive I even read an article other day telling parents not to encourage children to do chores and help out as it was “damaging”!
Through my years of experience, I can confirm this is ludicrous! I am not suggesting we must all turn our children into personal slaves, treat them poorly or love them any less than we already do. What I am saying is that by encouraging your little one to learn in order to get something they must do something for that reward!
If we don’t, out kiddos will grow up thinking they never need to work hard or focus on earning and making a living because they do not have the tools out in place to approach life like this. Above all, after a while of completing, this technique children will become much more respectful, knowledgeable, and appreciative of the good things in life because they will know much much hard work it takes to get there.
We all wonder why our children can’t socialise as well as they used to or why they are struggling to make little buddies in a nursery! It’s no secret that Tv, Ipads and all our technological advances are appearing in our children faces more and more. It’s okay if you little your kiddo watch tv a little, but I think we are taking advantage of this “free babysitter” too much and taking the easy way out in that moment when our children just won’t settle!
I’m not going to go extreme here and say we have to throw our Ipads out the window. But if we can limit this time each day to and encourage your little one to socialise and play, it really does so much good!! Socialising skills, physical skills and not to mention the child’s mood will dramatically increase without copious amounts of screen time.
Mistakes are a good thing!
Teaching our children not only that it is okay to make a mistake but to always try again will help them in later in life to become resilient! Again you are preparing them for later life and teaching them how to cope with stressful situations.
I remember when I was little, my own Mother would always tell me each time poor spiders get their spider web knocked down they don’t give up- they try and try again. This massively helped me and taught me not to give up when things get tough!
Attention, in the right places
Many children are so entitled as they are given attention throughout both positive and negative behaviours. Children stomp and make a scene when something doesn’t go their way and end up getting even more attention for their carer. This teaches children no matter what behaviour they display, their parent or carer will always come back and focus on them, which is exactly what they wanted! By showing your child that through any negative behaviour will have a negative effect such as:
- Toys took away,
- No reward stickers,
- No special day out,
- Anything that your little one really enjoys doing or having as a treat!
Being strong and relentless as much as you can absolutely pay off in the long run!
Just as I would say with your kiddos, It is okay that you as a parent make mistakes, no one does this perfectly! But the more we shape and adjust our little kiddos life, in the beginning, the more you are moulding a better future for you and your family!
You got this!
See also- How to massage your baby